Forever Dog Thursdays was a collection of ambitious original projects bridging the worlds of comedy, art, music, and theater. Performed at The PIT Underground in NYC every Thursday from January 15th to June 25th 2015. Produced by Joe Cilio and Alex Ramsey

June 25 2015 | “Two Miners Horny as Hell and Trapped in the Dark”

Performed in darkness.

Created by Joe Cilio and Alex Ramsey

The final Forever Dog Thursday event.


June 18 2015 | “The Montreal Screwjob”

The year is 1997, and Vince McMahon is in a difficult situation. Bret Hart, the champion, is leaving the company. Bret is willing to the lose the title…but not in his hometown. Not in Montreal. Not to a man he does not respect.

Please join us for a play about a turning point in the history of pro wrestling, but really about our human dependency on institutions, self esteem and self worth, and dad stuff, written by the lunatic fringe comedian “john Zachary townsend”.

Hastily written. Poorly researched. Pure hart.

Written by John Zachary Townsend

Starring: Sarah Heveron-Smith, Alex Song, Alex Ramsey, john Zachary townsend, Nick Zalinski …and more!


June 11 2015 | “Basketball Clinic Documentary Screening”

Ladies & Gentlemen, the Coaches are back! This Thursday, Coach Bobby Como-Estas and Coach Johann DePage return to the PIT to premiere their brand new short documentary, “Basketball Clinic,” which follows their journey to put up a successful basketball clinic in a NYC comedy basement. If you come, you will have the opportunity to see this film before anyone else! Not even THE CRITICS have laid eyes on it yet… except for Ben Sachs of the Chicago Reader who called it, “A fucking triumph.”


June 4 2015 | “New Fire”

A New Play written by Joe Cilio and Gabriel Laks

Starring Joe Cilio and Andrew Block

Marshall Cranby is a young writer on the rise. His first novel, “Good Lark Upon Ye Good Hartsdale”, was the toast of the literati. There is enormous pressure upon him to write a worthy sophomore effort, but alas…Marshall is out of ideas.

…that’s when the letter arrives.

Marshall has been accepted to the prestigious Morgendale Writers Retreat. But with Mr. Morgendale not everything is as it seems.

Religion. Science. Boats.
(This play takes place on a boat.)


May 28 2015 | “The Late Period with Susan B. Freewoman”

Susan’s punching the patriarchy– and this time, she’s using her whole fist.

Late night host Susan B. Freewoman and her Chief Correspondent Betty Snatch bring their wildly popular 14th Wave Feminist talk show to the PIT stage. Susan is on a mission to make things fair for the fairer sex, starting with the fairest woman she knows: herself. She and Betty let you in on all the feminist secrets of today, leaving no glass ceiling intact, and no intersectional activist movement un-intersectionally actively movemented. Hard-hitting. Cultural. Womanifestos.

With Guests:
Jennifer Pozner (Founder of Women in Media and News, Author of “Reality Bites Back”)
Sarah Hartshorne (Vice President of Project UROK, Comedian, Model)

Performed by:
Sarah Heveron-Smith
Grace Leeson
Rita Chinyere

Contributions by:
Caroline Cotter
Kelley Quinn


May 21 2015 | “Unauthorized! Background Stories”

Written and Directed by Christine Liz Pynn

The Unauthorized! series has parodied some of your favorite movies into stellar, 2-act off-Broadway musicals.

We can’t help but wonder how the same ensemble would parody the lives of the characters in the background of those movies. Well, wonder no more! For one night, Unauthorized! company members will bring you the stories of the ensemble in Back to the Future, Steel Magnolias, Ghostbusters, and The Hunger Games! See what the Battle of the Band judges did that night after they told Marty he was “too darn loud!” Find out what the other kids in District 12 were doing when Katniss volunteered. You are authorized to fully enjoy this show!


May 14 2015 | “Meet a Live Animal with Jack Honolulu”

Written by: Joe Cilio, Gabriel Laks, and Brett Boham

Also with: Alex Ramsey and Andrew Block

Jack Honolulu is America’s favorite animal expert. You may know him from his hit Animal Planet program Wild with Jack Honolulu or from his many appearances on such late night favorites as The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and The Jay Leno Show.

Now you can see him live, on stage and in person. Not only that, but he’s bringing with him a real wild animal. This is the only show where YOU the viewer will get to see, smell, and touch a REAL LIVE ANIMAL.

So come join Jack, his lawyer/brother Mark Honolulu, and his perky assistant/son America’s own Alex Honolulu. Hold on to your hat, it’s sure to be a WILD ride.

*Roar!!! – Big Cat*


May 7 2015 | “New Fire”

A New Play written by Joe Cilio and Gabriel Laks

Starring Joe Cilio and Andrew Block

Marshall Cranby is a young writer on the rise. His first novel, “Good Lark Upon Ye Good Hartsdale”, was the toast of the literati. There is enormous pressure upon him to write a worthy sophomore effort, but alas…Marshall is out of ideas.

…that’s when the letter arrives.

Marshall has been accepted to the prestigious Morgendale Writers Retreat. But with Mr. Morgendale not everything is as it seems.

Religion. Science. Boats.
(This play takes place on a boat.)


April 30 2015 | “The 2015 Forever Dog Film Festival”

The vast archive of Forever Dog videos will be released to the viewing public for one night only and if you care about film and comedy (“filmcomedy”) you will not want to miss it.

Most of these films are so rare they’re not even on the internet!! They include so many amazing people in so many hilarious, stupid, and weird projects that I don’t know what I need to do to convince you to come to this show.


April 23 2015 | “The Late Period with Susan B. Freewoman”

Created and Performed By: Sarah Heveron-Smith, Grace Leeson, and Dara Katz

Host Susan B. Freewoman and her Chief Correspondent Betty Snatch bring their wildly popular Late Night Fifth Wave Feminist Talk Show to the PIT stage. Susan’s punching the patriarchy– and this time, she’s using her whole fist.

Susan is on a mission to make things fair for the fairer sex, starting with the fairest woman she knows: herself. She and Betty let you in on all the feminist secrets of today, leaving no glass ceiling intact, and no intersectional activist movement un-intersectionally actively movemented. Hard-hitting. Cultural. Womanifestos.

Susan’s punching the patriarchy– and this time, she’s using her whole fist.


April 16 2015 | “The Average Was Lousy”

Conceived & Created by The Official Playwrights of Facebook

Performed by Shani Bekt, Tony Grayson, Alex Bedder, Anderson Heinz, & Andrew Block

The Ghosts of Theatre Past, Present, and Future visit an aging playwright to show him the error of his ways.

When an aging playwright attempts to re-invigorate his career online, he sparks a flame war that summons the ghostly spirits of Theatre Past, Present and Future, who expose his brutish behaviors from the past, but offer him the chance to course-correct his fate. The evening devolves into the recreation of sixteen plays, once thought all but lost to time, performed in under an hour. Can you believe it!? We can’t.

The Official Playwrights of Facebook is a collective of playwrights, of course, but it’s also so much more than that. We are performers. We are directors. We are designers. We all met in our BFA program, which taught us how to really make work that matters. And now, we’re making work. Living the dream. Scraping by. Making it happen. ‘Cause at the end of the day: we are the future of the American Theatre – and we don’t just mean the magazine!


April 9 2015 | “Stories from the Front”

Written and Performed by: Brooks Allison, Andrew Block, Jenny Jaffe, Gabe Laks, & Alex Ramsey

There have been a lot of big wars in our time: the War on Pot (Boo!), the War on Religion (Boo!), Whale Wars (Boo!) but none of them bigger than World War 2. It was SO BIG and so many people were a part of it: soldiers, civilians, etc. Since SO MANY PEOPLE were a part of it, that meant that there were a lot of stories too. Stories of bravery, patriotism, loyalty, love, bullets, and liquid shit.

This Thursday, Forever Dog unveils four of these stories for you live on stage. They will make you feel all types of emotions: happiness, sadness, etc. But most of all, PRIDE. Pride for your country. Ben Sachs of the Chicago Tribune said, “you should watch Better Call Saul. It’s really good.” HEY! Be a patriot and get your caboose over to the PIT to witness what will surely go down as “one of those Forever Dog shows where they focused on WWII.”


April 2 2015 | “Meet a Live Animal”

Written by: Joe Cilio, Gabriel Laks, and Brett Boham

Also with: Alex Ramsey and Andrew Block

Jack Honolulu is America’s favorite animal expert. You may know him from his hit Animal Planet program Wild with Jack Honolulu or from his many appearances on such late night favorites as The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and The Jay Leno Show.

Now you can see him live, on stage and in person. Not only that, but he’s bringing with him a real wild animal. This is the only show where YOU the viewer will get to see, smell, and touch a REAL LIVE ANIMAL.

So come join Jack, his lawyer/brother Mark Honolulu, and his perky assistant/son America’s own Alex Honolulu. Hold on to your hat, it’s sure to be a WILD ride.

*Roar!!! – Big Cat*


March 26 2015 | “Of Cake and Vanity: A Musical Painting”

Performed By: Andrew Chung, Chris Rehmann, José Rivera Jr., Justin Robert Thomas Smith, and Lindsay Wolff; Kevin Gallo, directing & collaborating

OF CAKE & VANITY is a fairytale about a man whose wish to be anyone but himself becomes a fantastic reality when he is consumed by the beast he is so obsessed with – a sexy, sweaty, gay body.

Follow Marshall, a 35 year old fat depressed nerd, and his wife Shelly, a loving, butch 50s housewife, to the end of their relationship as it metamorphizes to new dimensions. Love, lust, and technology meet via theater, music, fashion and performance art in an exploration of the homogenization of the gay body. A hybrid of Theater & Performance Art, this piece will consist of Dance created in collaboration with the Actors, Fashion, Original Music (Acoustic into EDM), and Live Video Art.

VIEW MORE PHOTOS HERE


March 19 2015 | “Forever Dog at The New York Improv Festival”

Performed By Joe Cilio, Alex Ramsey, Gabriel Laks, and Chirstine Pynn.

Forever Dog is a comedy production company, not an improv team. Come watch them do improv at the New York City Improv Festival!


March 12 2015 | “Kingmaker Presents: A Tribute to Sketch Comedy”

Performed By: Dan Kenkel, Mark Vigeant, and many more

Kingmaker and guests do “cover” versions of some of the greatest comedy sketches of all time.

Kingmaker’s Tribute to Sketch Comedy is an hour-long tribute to the greatest comedy skits and sketches of all time. From Monty Python, to Kids in the Hall to SNL, Kingmaker and a crew of their favorite comedians will “cover” sketches that you know and love.

Kingmaker is a sketch duo of best friends / comedians from New York City. They have performed their upbeat, absurdist comedy all around NYC and Philadelphia. Their videos have been featured on Funny or Die and the Nerdist, and they can both be seen in the Horror-Parody Film “Feartown, USA.” They also co-produce the show OSFUG: A Fast Fuckin’ Sketch Show at the Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theatre East Village with their other bestest friends.


March 5 2015 | “Draw Me Like One of your French Girls”

Created By: Taylor Gregory

Performed By: Lida Benson, Jake Cornell, Emily Evans, and Taylor Gregory

A group of teenagers in their early twenties on the verge of adulthood in Middle America.

“Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls” is a sketch show about the complexities of sit-com dilemmas woven together by friendships that can only be described as “temporary.”

In the year 2012, Lida Benson, Jake Cornell, Emily Evans and Taylor Gregory began their junket in an acting class within the mountains of Burlington, VT. Written and directed by cast member Taylor Gregory, the group began performing these self-produced one act plays for the community. By 2013 they formed the sketch comedy group The Dean’s Polka Dots, performing a variety of comedy ranging from open mic nights to black box theaters in Vermont, Boston, Philadelphia and now, New York City. They look forward to the the summer where they will perform a mystery/comedy show loosely based off the work of Sarah Koenig, entitled Martha & Maria (written by Taylor Gregory)


February 26 2015 | “Alan Murphy & His Punk Rock Band (CD Release Party)”

Performed By: John Zachary Townsend

A punk rock concert by a punk rock band (fronted by a very recently divorced 55 year old man).

Alan Murphy is a media mogul. He owns a private club… But he also owns a broken heart. But don’t worry-he also owns a swinging libido and a dog eared copy of the Joy Of Sex 😉 Newly divorced, Alan has turned to punk rock music to channel his aggression and emotions. Alan invites you to the CD Release Party for SONGS OF PAIN, a concept album about pain. Alan will sing songs from the record, tell stories, and maybe even sign a titty or two ;).

WARNING: NOT for the faint of heart/lovelorn. Alan is a bona fide stud, a newly single sexual powerhouse looking for the three C’s: conquests, concubines and C cups. Single woman (particularly the young, busty, gold digger type) are advised to enter with caution… And condoms 🙂

John Zachary Townsend is a writer and performer living in New York City. He currently writes for the Maude Team Lover at the UCB Theatre. Past UCB credits include Moriarty (Maude Team) and Standards & Practices, a play which he starred in and co-wrote with Ellena Chiemelewski. He has written for Funny or Die and College Humor, as well as two sequels to Annie Hall with Mitchell Stephen Fesh. They also wrote an entire spec season of the Bill Engvall Show, and are currently working on Weird Computer, the first screenplay they would actually be (legally) able to film. John graduated from New York University with a BFA in Film & Television.


February 19 2015 | “Basketball Clinic”

Created by Alex Ramsey and Brooks Allison

For one night only, coaches Bobby Como-Estas and Johann DePage host a rigorous, sweat-inducing, mind bending basketball clinic. Using their award winning coaching methods learned and developed at the University of Wisconsin Whitewater, Coach Como-Estas and DePage will focus on the basics: dribbling, passing, conditioning, communication, offensive & defensive formations, pick n’ rolls, boxing out, and toying with opponents’ minds. BUT NO SHOOTING! Scoring points doesn’t win basketball games… if you want to know what DOES win basketball games, sign up for Basketball Clinic – February 19th, 9pm at the PIT. *Note – Coach Como-Estas and Coach DePage’s clinic will be filmed, made into a short documentary, and with any luck, accepted into Cannes and/or Slamdance Film Festival and distributed by Magnolia Pictures.


February 12 2015 | “House of Cards: Season 3, Episode 1”

Written by Joe Cilio and Gabriel Laks

CLICK HERE TO READ THE FULL SCRIPT

Forever Dog has obtained the script to “House of Cards: Season 3, Episode 1” and we’re ready to blow the lid off of this thing with an all-star staged reading at Forever Dog Thursdays. The House of Cards writers really deliver this season! This episode has it all: Machiavellian schemes, convoluted plot details, Frank throwing stuff in front of subways, political rhetoric, Operas, defense contractors, iron hands, superpowers, a ton of sex, people talking to the camera, ribs, throwing baseballs, and of course, Slugline. Don’t be the only person not in the know: find out what’s going down this season on House of Cards two weeks before the rest of America.

Gabriel Laks is a writer and filmmaker from Seattle whose work has been quoted in The New Yorker and featured in such places as Channel 101, My Damn Channel, and CollegeHumor. He is a member of Forever Dog and loves you very much.

Joe Cilio is the co-Founder and Artistic Director of Forever Dog Productions. Joe has performed all over the country, created over 15 original shows at the Peoples Improv Theater, including the 12-hour long epic play “Volcano Town.” He also has two (sweet) podcasts and produces the weekly show “Forever Dog Thursdays.”


February 5 2015 | “Childbearing Years” and “The Late Period”

Childbearing Years Presents: “The Grand Reopening of Boone, Iowa’s Community Center”

Performed by: Allison Brown and Rachel Joravsky

Finally! The day is here! After months of renovation, it’s time for the Grand Reopening of Boone, Iowa’s Community Center … and people are coming out in dozens! The center has something to offer to every man and woman. Water aerobics? Check. Bingo night? Check. A silent auction to raise funds for the Boone High School Marching band? Uhm, CHECK! So what are you waiting for? Come on down to the Grand Reopening of Boone, Iowa’s Community Center and meet the residents of this quaint midwestern town! Afterall, the midwest is the heart of America… which is partly because it’s located smackdab in the heart of America, but also partly because these community members have plenty of heart to go around.

Childbearing Years is a comedy duo out of Brooklyn, New York. Rachel Joravsky and Allison Brown are two midwestern girl-women who met while studying at NYU Tisch. They have been sisters ever since. While their friends from home are getting married and having babies, Rachel and Allison make silly skits to perform for you live and on the interweb. Hey, creation is creation.


The Late Period with Susan B. Freewoman

Performed by: Sarah Heveron-Smith, Frances Grace Leeson, and more

Late night host Susan B. Freewoman and her Chief Correspondent Betty Snatch bring their wildly popular Fifth Wave Feminist talk show to the PIT stage. Susan is on a mission to make things fair for the fairer sex, starting with the fairest woman she knows: herself. She and Betty let you in on all the feminist secrets of today, leaving no glass ceiling intact, and no intersectional activist movement un-intersectionally actively movemented. Hard-hitting. Cultural. Womanifestos.

Susan’s punching the patriarchy– and this time, she’s using her whole fist.

Sarah Heveron-Smith is a comedian from Webster, New York. You might know her (do you?! God, do you!?) from the Sarah & Joe Pop-Up Show, Hurly Burly improv, or, most likely, from that time she answered your weird email to the UCB. Sarah was an art major at Wellesley College, where she dated Grace’s future ex-girlfriend’s future girlfriend.

Frances Grace Leeson writes and performs comedy in New York City, which makes the commute from Cumming, Georgia a real hassle. She is on the digital team LASH at the Upright Citizens Brigade and you can see her frequently at the Sarah and Joe Pop Up Shows. She met Sarah in the improv troupe Dead Serious while attending Wellesley College. Their ex girlfriends are now dating.


January 29 2015 | “The Amy León Project”

Performed by: Amy León and Rahm Silverglade

Poetry and music, both scripted and improvised, by one of the strongest artistic voices in New York City. Simply put, Amy León will blow you away.

“I could write a paragraph about how much I enjoy poetry as an art form and how it has shaped my existence and how it has saved me time and time again and how music is my lifeblood and maybe use commas and/or periods, but I’d rather not. :)” – Amy Leon

Amy Leon is an actor, poet, singer and Harlem Native. She recently graduated from NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts and is happily leading her life as a full time creative mind. Amy is currently a member of the Nuyorican Slam Team and is working on publishing her first collection of poetry. She is also in the process of recording an EP that she hopes to release this Spring. Amy looks forward to spreading love and light as far as she can with her work. The mantra: Live loudly, Give quietly, Listen always.


January 22 2015 | “The Andrew Block”

Performed by: Andrew Block

Written and Directed by: Joe Cilio and Alex Ramsey

The most underappreciated actor in New York City tells his story in this hilarious one-man show. Andrew Block has lived many lives. He’s been a Paleontologist. He’s been a Siberian Fur Trader. He’s been a PA for The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies. The man has done it all. But the last iconoclast has an issue: he still doesn’t have his equity card!

The Andrew Block is a hilarious one-man rumination on the theater and life in the theater. Andrew tells stories, sings songs, and speaks words someone else wrote for him in this tour-de-force event. Everyone’s getting laid, everyone’s getting drunk, what a great show, bud light bottles.

Part One of Joe Cilio and Alex Ramsey’s three-part “The Block Cycle”.


January 15 2015 | “Cilio & Ramsey: The Greatest Skits of All Time, For the Last Time”

Created and Performed By: Joe Cilio and Alex Ramsey

The Greatest Skits of All Time, For the Last Time is a collection of exactly what it sounds like.

This will be the last time that Joe Cilio and Alex Ramsey ever perform their life’s work: the greatest skits, sketches, and gags ever created in the “History of the Whole Wide World”. After this, it will be all new material forevermore. So if you ever want to see the “Famous Doctor Sketch”, the “Famous Herman Melville Sketch”, or the world renowned “Famous Bologna Sketch,” this is your last chance (ever). If you’ve never seen a “Cilio & Ramsey” show before, go see this show!

“Cilio & Ramsey” is an experimental sketch group that has been performed at the People’s Improv Theater (NYC), the New York Sketch Festival, and the Chicago Sketch Festival. The shows are theatrical (and silly) but also profound – while still slightly dangerous. Joe and Alex will actively try to make you happy. Also, everyone who attends gets to be part of something totally sacred and secret and special: live performance! This show is polished and carefully crafted and you are not wasting your time. Created and performed by Joe Cilio and Alex Ramsey, co-founders of Forever Dog, who have been making comedy together for over eight years.